Spending spoons

2 things that made me happy in April

April was a high pain, high fatigue month, but there are good things to remember.

Kittens!

Much to my surprise, one of my fosters had kittens under my bed. Watching them grow from teeny, tiny babies to playful rascals is just awesome!

Lakris at 3 weeks old. (Photo: Lexidh Solstad)

Rehoming Tigern

One of my cats, Tigern, needed a home of his own. I found him the perfect place: a small farm farther south in Norway. I get updates, and I know he loves having a whole farm and family to himself. I miss him, but I know he’s a lot happier now.

 

Cats and fosters, Chronic illness

Kittens and flares

Some of you might have found the website down the past few days. That was due to an update of a plugin, and I didn’t have the spoons to fix it right away. All my spoons were caught in a flare up that started on Wednesday.

Surprise, kittens!

During Easter I got a new foster cat that moved into my room. Her name is Signe, and she is not all that used to people. So she hid a lot. I could pet her, but she wasn’t too happy about it. Anyway, Signe came from a farm were the nice farmer had fed her meatballs. Chances were that she was fat because of that. Then on Wednesday afternoon I had to lay down in bed to rest, as I usually do. Suddenly, tiny tiny sounds came out from under my bed! At first I didn’t even understand what it was. I thought maybe it was something outside, since the window was partially open. After a couple of minutes the sounds were obvious, but still tiny, cat sounds. I checked under my bed, and there was Signe with a newborn kitten!

The adrenaline surged, and boom! Headache. I had to make a cave for mama and baby in a hurry, and set up the kitten pen in the livingroom. And then it turned out Signe wasn’t interested in her baby and just left it crying on the floor. I had to hold it so it wouldn’t be too cold. Thankfully, Signe went into the cave I’d made her, and I was able to put the kitten in with her. I started to relax, and thought ‘OK, one kitten is not that bad’.

2,5 hours later she was in labour again. Two more kittens came, but this time she took care of them. I tried to give her as much privacy as possible, but eventually I had to move them all to the kitten pen. I took her kittens (she would actually let me do that) and put them in the cave/cage and Signe went in there with them. Then I could just close the door and carry them to the kitten pen. With everything set up in there I could leave them for a few hours and let mama do her job with the babies without stressing her further.

Flare up

That also meant I could relax. The headache was killing me, and my meds didn’t do anything. The adrenaline had left my body, and I was exhausted. I don’t really remember much of the rest of that day. Thursday and Friday was pain and Hell. Because of the pain I was nauseous, too. I did the few things I had to do, like check on the kittens and go to the bathroom. My assistant was here on Thursday and she helped me with other stuff that couldn’t wait. Friday I had to cancel the cleaner, because I couldn’t face any sound whatsoever, and the thought of someone talking to me and moving around in the house was too much. I still had a headache and it had also moved to the jaw. I couldn’t chew any food.

By Friday night I finally remember what usually helps me out of a bad flare up. If I double my pain meds, but take them at the usual time, it usually puts the pain back to baseline. So I did. Of course, I stayed in bed, kept the room dark and quiet. I also only ate mashed food or soups to prevent the jaw from getting worse. Saturday morning the headache was almost gone, the fibro pain was on a normal level and I was just utterly fatigued. I stayed in bed most of the day, and at night I could finally move around in my normal fashion (which is to say, not fast and not far).

Back in control

Today I feel normal (for me). There’s pain and fatigue and I’m really tired, but it’s the level I’m used to and can live with. Signe and the kittens are doing great, and she has even started to enjoy that I pet her. I hope I can get back to walking Yuki again now, and just do little things around the house. Before all this happened I was on a positive track and I’ll try to continue without further delay, but also without overdoing it. Wish me luck!


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Spending spoons

Days fly by

Wow, it’s been a month since my last blog post. It feels like no time has past. Every day is just about managing pain, fatigue and life. I have felt better the past 2 weeks, less fatigue anyway, but I’ve spent my spoons on getting things done in the house. I feel good about that. Seeing improvement in my home really helps. This is, afterall, where I spend all my time.

What have I been up to?

First of all, with a little help from other volunteers at the rescue I’ve finally finished the catio downstairs. I now have room for 4 rescue cats outside. This area is reserved for adult cats who have been outside for a long time, and who needs a stop-over until we have a suitable fosterhome ready for them.

Talking about adult cats, I have a new foster. His name is Robinson, and he’s lived under a veranda for years. He’s about 3-4 years old, and from the way he’s acting I’m sure he’s had a home early on. The plan was for him to be the first resident at the catio, but with his sweet and anxious demeanor we decided it’s better for him to stay inside with me to be tamed. He spends his days in my bed with me. He is still very anxious, but he feels safe when laying next to me. Oh, and he loves belly rubs!

I’ve also been talking to a meeting to decide if I should have someone to talk to about my mental health. Turns out that I should, which is no news to me. I had to fill out these depression and anxiety forms, which I’ve done many times before. I scored high on anxiety and moderate on depression, as I knew I would. That means I’ll have someone to talk to every other week. Not exactly therapy, but at least I’ll have to start dealing with the stuff I’ve buried under food and fat.

Other stuff I’ve done

  • Been to the movies with two of my friends (first time since 2016)
  • Bought plants (and already killed 3/4)
  • Read a lot of books
  • Spent some time in Tamriel
  • Walked the dog a couple of times

And, you know, rested.